What to Take to a Wake: A Guide to Showing Support and Respect
Attending a wake is a deeply personal experience, a time to offer condolences and support to the bereaved family. Knowing what to bring can ease the burden on the grieving and show your genuine care. While there's no strict checklist, thoughtful gestures go a long way. This guide will help you navigate the etiquette and offer suggestions on what to take to a wake.
What is the appropriate attire for a wake?
Appropriate attire for a wake is generally conservative and respectful. Dark-colored clothing, such as a suit or dress, is usually preferred. Avoid anything too casual, revealing, or flashy. The overall aim is to show respect for the deceased and the grieving family. Comfort is also important; you’ll likely be standing and interacting for a period of time.
What food items are suitable to bring to a wake?
Bringing food is a practical way to ease the burden on the family, who are often overwhelmed with arrangements. Think about items that are easy to serve and share, and that will keep well at room temperature. Some excellent options include:
- Prepared dishes: Lasagna, casseroles, or a large salad are all popular choices.
- Desserts: Cakes, cookies, or pies are appreciated, especially if they can be easily portioned.
- Snacks: Fruit platters, vegetable trays, or cheese and crackers offer lighter options.
- Drinks: Bottled water or juice are thoughtful additions, especially if the wake is during the day.
Remember to check with the family or funeral home beforehand if there's a specific need or preference for food items.
Should I bring flowers to a wake?
Flowers are a traditional and beautiful way to express sympathy. However, before bringing flowers, consider the family's preferences and religious customs. Some families might prefer donations to a charity in the deceased's name, while others might have specific floral arrangements in mind. If you're unsure, it's always best to check with a close friend or relative of the family.
Are there any other appropriate gifts to bring to a wake?
Beyond food and flowers, other thoughtful gestures can demonstrate your support:
- A sympathy card: Write a heartfelt message expressing your condolences and sharing a positive memory of the deceased.
- A donation: Donating to a charity that was important to the deceased is a meaningful way to honor their memory.
- Offering help: Instead of a physical gift, offering practical assistance, such as helping with errands, childcare, or pet care, can be invaluable to the bereaved family.
What should I avoid bringing to a wake?
While showing support is key, certain things are best avoided:
- Loud or distracting items: Avoid bringing anything that could disrupt the solemn atmosphere.
- Children (unless invited): Unless the family specifically requests the presence of children, it’s generally best to leave them at home. Wakes can be emotionally challenging environments for young children.
- Inappropriate gifts: Avoid gifts that are too personal or potentially upsetting to the family, such as brightly colored items or objects unrelated to mourning.
Remember, the most important aspect of attending a wake is your presence and sincere condolences. Your genuine sympathy and support will be deeply appreciated by the grieving family, regardless of the gifts you bring. A simple yet heartfelt gesture can often mean more than a lavish offering.
